Guardian: I'm saving the planet on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday can go to hell in a carbonated handcart.
Lights, telly, water, beware: you're history. I've lived the life of an ecological vampire, but not any more.
Mike Berners-Lee, author of How Bad Are Bananas? and co-author of The Burning Question, is my father confessor. I ring him on my mobile.
"Hello, Simon, could you ring me back on my landline?"
Bloody hell. Can't even get that right. Mobiles: relatively...